


if we don't move together

by Chaosandthecalm



Series: WCBMS [5]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:05:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaosandthecalm/pseuds/Chaosandthecalm
Summary: Connor can't seem to stop thinking about the new kid.(The long awaited Connor's POV of we could be making sparks.)





	1. Chapter 1

Connor could feel the beginnings of a migraine building behind his eyes. He ran down the sidewalk and took a deep breath. The pulsing in his head receded and then came back in full force. He sighed and slowed to a walk. The neighborhood was quiet. It wasn’t late, but it was dark. Most of his neighbors were in their eighties and preferred to spend their evenings in front of their TV. He kept walking, keeping his pace steady, his breathing slowing. As he made it around the corner he noticed something that looked completely out of place. A moving truck. It stood out like a sore thumb in the sea of grey and beige houses around it.

Connor stopped and watched as a woman came out of the house that the truck was parking in front of. She was fairly young, and her blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Connor stepped back out of the street light. The woman called back towards the house and someone else ran outside. It was a man. Connor squinted. No not a man. A teenager. Except he was extremely tall and surprisingly broad shouldered. He walked like he wasn’t used to his limbs yet, his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. Connor stood there, completely transfixed, as they grabbed some boxes from the truck and made their back into the house. The kid turned in Connor’s direction for a second and he froze, trying not to look like a crazy stalker. But his eyes just swept over Connor and down the street, taking in the houses. Even from across the street Connor could see that he wasn’t thrilled to be there. 

Once the kid turned back and walked into the house Connor made himself start walking again. His mind was racing. The last time they had a new kid in their school he was in third grade. New people didn’t move to their town. Ever. Connor glanced back at the house one last time before he took off running again.

```

“You can do better than that son!” 

Connor flung his entire weight into the next punch, his knuckles cracking when they hit the punching bag. His dad took a tiny step back against the impact then braced himself, his hands holding the back harder. 

“You’re punching like a girl. Harder!”

Connor’s blood was rushing in his ears as he squared his feet, preparing for the next hit. His hands were sore, and he was pretty sure that under his right glove one of his knuckles was bleeding. He hit again, and again, and again until his dad scoffed and let go of the bag. 

“Pathetic. What’s is going on with you today?”

Connor bent over, his hands on his knees. He could feel his stomach turning but he swallowed thickly, praying that he wouldn’t throw up. The last time he did his dad wouldn’t look at him for the rest of the night. 

“I’m sorry dad…”

“How the hell are you going to be the best if you can’t even punch like a man?”

Connor wiped his face with the back of his hand, the sweat stinging his eyes. He couldn’t tell his dad why he was off his game. That there was a new kid in the neighborhood. That in a week he would find out if he was going to his school or not. 

“I guess I’m just stressed…about going back to school.” He finally said, standing up straight. Their eyes met, and Connor felt a cold shiver running down his spine. 

“Go to bed.” His father finally said, pushing past him and walking back into the house. There was an old feeling of shame that crept over him. The same one he had felt since he was a kid when he knew he had disappointed his dad. Now it was joined by a tiny glimmer of anger. He stripped off his gloves, seeing bright red seeping through the white cloth around his knuckles. 

```

It was the night before school was supposed to start and Connor was in his garage with Chad, watching an old football game. Chad burped and reached for another warm beer that he had stolen from his dad’s fridge. Connor watched him for a second and tried to ignore the itch in him to talk. He wanted to tell him about the new kid. He wanted to tell Chad that he was feeling jittery at the thought of him being at school the next day and even more jittery at the thought that he might not be. Instead he took a sip from his own beer, cringing at the taste. 

“So, what’s up with you and Daria?” Chad asked, his eyes never leaving the TV. Connor sighed and shrugged. This was the only way him and Chad ever talked about anything. No eye contact and avoiding anything too heavy. Connor felt a pang of loneliness so deep that he almost doubled over. 

“We haven’t really spoken since she left…”

Chad grunted and finished his beer, crushing the can in his huge hand. Connor put his can on the floor and stood up, his back cracking loudly. 

“Want to have a go at the bag?” he asked, nodding towards the punching bag in the corner. Chad grunted again and stood up, going to grab the gloves hanging on the wall. 

‘’

“Did you train today?” 

Connor nodded, pushing his food around his plate. His appetite was nonexistent. He couldn’t focus on anything but the next day. He could feel his dad’s eyes on him.

“Don’t lie to me son.”

“I’m not sir. Chad helped me with the bag.”

His dad looked at him for a long moment then nodded slowly. 

“Alright. Tomorrow come home right after school. We have the batting cages for two hours.” 

Connor nodded and scooped some green beans into his mouth. They crunched pleasantly when he bit down but the taste made him want to gag. His heart was hammering against his chest. 

“I think I’ll go to bed…”

His dad nodded, looking down at his phone.

‘’

Connor barely got any sleep that night. His mind wouldn’t let him. He kept squeezing his eyes shut and willing for the sleep to come but it never did. His muscles ached from his training and he knew that he would be miserable the next day if he didn’t sleep but that only made him more stressed. He groaned and pressed his hands against his eyes until he saw white.

“Fuck…”

‘’

Just like he thought the next morning he felt like shit. His body hurt and his eyes were scratchy. He ran a hand through his hair and could feel it sticking up in the back. He didn’t want to deal with school or anyone in it. He could already feel the millions of questions about him and Daria that everyone was going to ask coming. The last thing he needed was that. 

In the back of his mind he was still thinking about that kid…but could he even call him a kid? He seemed…older than him somehow. He was tall and broad and…

Connor ran a hand over his face and grabbed his backpack. The drive to school was short and before he knew it he was parking his truck. He could already see the football team in their usual spot, their letter man jackets on. 

He scanned them for a familiar curly head of hair and felt a wave of relief when he couldn’t see it. He definitely wasn’t ready for that yet. Chad waved him over and he tried to smile, his face feeling puffy and uncooperative.

“Jesus, you look like shit.” Chad said, slapping him on the shoulder.

“Thanks asshole.” 

When the bell rang they all made their way inside, the familiar smell of the hallways making him feel even more tired than before. He made it to his homeroom, waving at Mrs. Miller and making his way to the back. His knees hit the bottom of his desk and he winced. He had grown out of the desks three years ago and still managed to injure himself at least once a week trying to fit in them. 

The droning of the air conditioning and the steady stream of conversation was making everything feel almost dreamlike. Connor stared out of the window, the sunlight making the grass look extra green. In a few weeks everything was going to be brown and dead and frigid. He shivered just thinking about it. He could hear Mrs. Miller’s voice but his mind couldn’t focus enough to pick up what she was saying. He heard the classroom door open and he turned, and his entire body froze. There was the kid. He was standing there, shoulders hunched forward, eyes darting around the room. Connor sat up, his gaze fixed on him. 

Everything felt like it was underwater. The kid started talking and Connor tried to listen but he couldn’t.

The only thing he heard was his name: Jude.


	2. Chapter 2

Connor adjusted his grip on his bat, his feet firmly planted. He watched the machine in front of him as it whirred and sent a ball flying at him. He heard it rush past him, his bat clipping it but not hitting it straight on. He cursed under his breath.

“Focus.” He heard his dad say from his place behind the fence. Connor nodded, his focus on the next ball. Once again he barely grazed it. His dad slammed a hand against the fence making it rattle. Connor glanced at the family next to them and then looked away quickly from their wide-eyed stares. 

His dad crossed his arms, his face set. 

“Again.”

It had already been an hour and Connor was completely off his game. He couldn’t hit a single ball properly. His legs felt like jelly and his arms didn’t want to cooperate. The next ball came whizzing at him and he swung, praying that it would make contact. Finally his bat hit the ball with a crack and his dad clapped his hands once as they watched it sail across the field. 

“Now that’s what I’m talking about. Ten more of those and you’re done.”

Connor nodded, his shoulder tight.

\--

“Any plans tonight?” his dad asked when they were in the truck on their way home. Connor shrugged. He had gotten a text from Chad an hour before asking if he wanted to get drunk in the park. That seemed like a terrible idea but he had nothing better to do. Plus it could help quiet the incessant thoughts running through he head that he didn’t even want to acknowledge. 

“Probably hanging out with Chad.”

“Don’t stay out too late. You have the gym before school tomorrow.” 

Connor nodded, looking out of the window at the streets passing by. His heart skipped when he realized they were passing by Jude’s house. His fingers twisted into his shirt to stop them from quivering. The windows were all lit up. He wondered what it was like living there, with the nice blonde woman. He wanted to ask Jude what it was like. He wanted…to talk to him.

Connor squeezed his eyes shut and pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. 

\--

“My dad is going to fucking kill me for this…” Chad said, laughing and passing beer from the six pack he had put on the ground. He had brought three of them for everyone and a small bottle of whiskey that they passed around, taking swigs from it. Connor waved away the whiskey, sipping beer instead. 

Chad burped and threw his empty bottle behind him. The woods were dark but the street lights in the park shone through the trees just enough to see. Connor picked at the soggy label of his beer. Everyone else was already tipsy and Chad was clearly drunk. He had probably pregamed before coming. His face was redder than usual, and his eyes were out of focus. Malachi, one of the other guys from the team passed Connor another beer and he smiled, taking it even though his first was still half full. He put the bottle on the ground and leaned back against a tree. 

“Well lookie here…” Chad said, his eyes glinting. He was looking through the branches at the jogging path. Connor turned and his body froze. Jude was running towards them. Shit, Connor thought, trying to think of something to distract Chad. 

“Chad...” he said, pulling at Chad’s sleeve but he was already moving toward the path, still under the cover of the trees. Connor watched Chad stick his foot out slightly and he lunged for him but not in time because the next thing he knew Jude was yelping and falling in the grass. Connor flinched and shrunk away from his laughing teammates. All of them stumbled out of the trees and he watched Jude’s panicked eyes taking in the sight of them standing over him. Connor stayed back, his eyebrows furrowed. Jude got to his feet and Chad stepped closer to him. Jude eyes fell on him for a moment and Connor froze.

Connor couldn’t focus on what they were saying, he was just watching Jude. He could tell that he was forcing himself to stay calm, to stand up straight. He felt something stirring in his gut and he regretted drinking that beer. Chad pushed Jude’s chest and Jude stepped back, his face clouding with anger. Connor’s hands clenched into fists and he bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything.

“You know, you sure know a lot about what gay dudes do together man. Listen if you want to go out just ask.” Jude said, winking. Connor’s eyes widened and he turned to look at Chad and watched his muscles shifting as he realized what had happened. Before Chad could come at him Jude had taken off running with the rest of the guys following him.

“Shit…” Connor muttered. He knew this park, had jogged there hundreds of times himself. If Jude was headed in that direction then…he took a deep breath and took off into the trees. If he got there in time he might be able to…fuck. This was a mistake. 

He burst out of the woods and into the tunnel under the bridge, watching the path on the other side. Jude came around the corner and Connor braced himself. Jude stepped into the tunnel and Connor slammed him against the wall, maybe harder than he intended. Jude’s breath rushed out, warm against Connor’s face. He brought his hand up and slapped it over Jude’s mouth. His lips were hot under Connor’s fingers. 

“Don’t say anything.” He said quietly, letting his hand drop when Jude nodded, his eyes wide. He couldn’t tell what color they were in the darkness. Connor stepped away and the air felt cold after the heat of Jude’s body. He looked at him, still pressed against the wall, his hair sticking up from the wind, breathless from running. Connor’s hand twitched and he turned and walked away.

“He’s not over here! We should just forget it man.” Connor called out as he walked away, his heart hammering against his chest. Chad cursed and kicked a trash can, cursing even louder from the pain. The other guys laughed and Jude was forgotten. 

\--

The next morning Connor woke up with a pounding headache. He knew it couldn’t be from the drinking since he barely had one beer. He hadn’t been able to to fall asleep for hours. All he could think about was Jude’s face. He had looked terrified of him. Connor sighed and rubbed his eyes. 

He showered quickly and headed downstairs. It was still dark outside and the clock told him it was almost 5:30. His dad was going to kill him. He was late for the gym. Luckily his dad had to work early so he wasn’t there to give him any shit. 

Connor pulled on his sneakers and headed out, his backpack and duffle bag with a change of clothes with him. He drove to the gym in silence, opening the window to let in the cool air. When he got there he sat in his truck for a second, watching the sky getting lighter. He knew the trainers would tell his dad that he had been late but for once he didn’t care all that much. His brain was still filled with thoughts of the night before.

“Jesus…” he breathed out, clenching his hands. There was pent up energy in him, his muscles buzzing with it. Maybe the gym was a good idea after all. 

\--

After a quick shower he drove to school, turning on some music and letting it take his mind off of other things. He realized that he hadn’t thought about Daria at all the night before. It was the first time since she left.

When he pulled into the parking lot he could see Chad and the other guys in the usual spot. He wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Chad. He was the worst at being hungover.

“Man as soon as I see that fucking kid I’m going to smash his face in…” Connor heard as he walked up. He didn’t have to ask Chad who he was talking about, he already knew. He sent up a silent prayer that Jude had decided to stay home for the day. But of course, he wasn’t that lucky and Chad let out a low whistle, his face lighting up in a way that it only did when he had spotted his prey. Connor sighed and turned to see Jude making his way toward the school.

“Let’s go.” Chad muttered, making a beeline for Jude. Connor followed, determined not to be the witness of a murder.

“Hey!” 

Jude sped up but Chad just laughed and walked faster. They caught up to Jude just as he was about to walk into the building. Chad’s beefy hand closed around Jude’s elbow and spun him around. Connor saw the same flash of panic on his face that he had seen the night before in the tunnel. He felt his own face heat up at the memory and he glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. 

“Hey gay boy. Long time no see.”

“Yeah sorry I took off last night. See I’m not the biggest fan of getting murdered by ignorant homophobes.” 

Connor watched Chad closely. His fists were clenched and the back of his neck was already getting red. This could turn bad real quick…

“What did you just say to me?”

“Chad come on man….” Connor had spoken before he even realized it. He cursed himself silently but didn’t take it back. 

“Are you defending the fairy now?” Chad asked, turning to look at him. His face was challenging Connor. He couldn’t show them he cared. Or else he would be the prey next time. He schooled his face into blank expression and shrugged.

“No man. If you fight him here then you’ll get suspended again. One more suspension and you’re off the team remember?”

He could see Chad processing the information, his hands relaxing. Connor could feel Jude watching him and he forced himself not to look at him.

“Don’t hurt yourself there friend.” 

Connor’s eyes snapped to look at Jude. This kid had a fucking death wish. 

Chad stepped closer to Jude, closer than necessary. Connor inched forward but stopped himself. Jude cracked some joke about Chad’s breath and Connor snorted, biting his lip. Jesus, he had some nerve. He turned quickly to make sure Chad didn’t see.

\--

“Why the fuck are you protecting gay boy?” Chad growled as they walked to their cars at the end of the day. Connor’s stomach clenched.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know full well that nobody would actually kick me off the team. They need me. So what’s the deal?” 

Connor shrugged and focused on finding his keys in his bag.

“Dude I’m serious…” Chad said, gripping his shoulder. Connor looked at him, face set.

“I’m protecting _you_. You don’t need another violent outburst on your record. Maybe they won’t kick you off the team but do you think any college would accept you after all that shit?” 

Chad’s fight left him as quickly as it came, his shoulders slumping.

“Fuck man…I keep forgetting we’re almost done with this all this.” He said, gesturing to the school. Connor nodded, trying not to think about that exact fact himself. 

“I appreciate that though…you know…” Chad said, not looking at Connor anymore. Connor patted him on the shoulder and walked away. That was how it went with them. 

\--

That night his dad made him run on the treadmill until his legs gave out because he had been late going to the gym that morning.

“I told you not to stay out too late last night.” His dad had said as Connor was hunched over on the floor of the garage, gasping for breath. 

He stood up on shaky legs and made his way to his room, stumbling into the shower. The water felt good on his overheated skin and he breathed in deeply, letting his heart slow down to a normal rate. His skin felt like it was crawling with bugs, his muscles screaming from exertion. 

Once again all he could think about was Jude. He frowned and slammed his palm against the tile, his skin stinging from the impact. 

“Fuck…”

He needed to talk to Jude. He needed to break this spell that he had over him. Maybe he could just…go to him. Connor imagined walking up to Jude’s front door and ringing the bell. No that would be fucking stupid. And he’s sure Jude would think it was some trap. And what if someone saw him? That wouldn’t work. 

Connor got out of the shower and got dressed, throwing on his letterman jacket without thinking about it. He was out of the house before he knew where he was going. His feet took him through the neighborhood on auto pilot and he didn’t let himself dwell on where they were headed. 

Then he was standing in front of Jude’s house. The lights were on downstairs and he could see the windows on the left side of the house were lit up. He walked around to the back yard and looked up, hoping to see any sign of movement. 

“This is so fucking stupid…” he muttered. There was a rock laying next to his shoe and he glared at it. There was no way he would do something that stupid and cheesy. He looked at the window again and groaned, leaning down and grabbing the rock. 

“Please don’t smash his window…” he whispered, flinging the rock up to the glass as gently as he could. It pinged against the window and he waited, his pulse rushing in his ears. His feet twitched and he thought about running away. Then he saw the top of a head with brown hair and those same eyes that had stared at him the night before looking down at him and he couldn’t move. Jude ducked away as soon as he saw him and Connor’s heart sank. 

Of course Jude didn’t want to see him. He was stupid to think that he did. But instead of walking away he leaned down and searched for another rock, throwing it at the window. 

“Ok fine, kill me if you must!” 

Connor felt a laugh building in him but he swallowed it down.

“Jude?”

He already knew it was Jude but he hadn’t been able to say it yet, not out loud and the minute he said it he wanted to say it again.

“Yes?”

Connor froze. What the hell was he supposed to say now?

“Hey…can I come up?”

\--

Connor’s foot slipped on one of the tree branches as he climbed down, his body numb and his mind racing. He mouth was warm and his cheeks were tingling from Jude’s stubble. He made it down to the ground and fell against the side of the house, his legs weak. 

Jude kissed him.

And he had kissed back. He kissed Jude. He let himself slide down onto the ground. He brought one shaky hand up and let his fingers brush against his lips. They were warm. Because moments ago they had been pressed against Jude’s. And his hands had been wrapped around Jude’s waist. And Jude…fuck.

Connor closed his eyes but all he could see was Jude’s determined face as he pulled Connor in. 

What the hell was he going to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> First I was to say I'm sorry for the wait! I promise I'll try to get into the groove of posting more frequently. Unfortunately I'm still out a laptop and I have to write on a desktop which isn't the most comfortable for me. But! I want to thank every single person who commented on the last chapter and the wonderful people who messaged me on Tumblr! Your support is incredible and I would never be able to do any of this without you guys!
> 
> Now it was brought to my attention that I made a pretty big mistake in the last chapter soooo...if anyone has any interest in being a beta for me please let me know! I didn't have one last time and it was ok but now since this is a follow to a story that I wrote a while ago there might be times where I mess up. I need someone who is very familiar with the original story and who has lots of time and can respond quickly since it already takes me a while to get chapters written.
> 
> Once again you are all amazing and I can't thank you enough! Next chapter will be coming soon I promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone!

If anyone is still waiting for updates or keeping tabs on this story I wanted to do a little update. 

After losing all of my work for the THIRD time I lost all motivation to write this or anything. With everything going on in my life I just didn't have the energy or the time to dedicate to writing. 

I am attempting to write again but I will not be going back to any of my WIP's. I'm really sorry you guys. Everyone has been so amazing to me and all of the love and support you have shown me is absolutely amazing. This has been an awesome fandom to be a part of and I will always love the work I did for it.

Luckily since this is just a retelling of my other story you won't have to wonder what will happen. 

Much love to everyone who has stuck with me for the past few years!

**Author's Note:**

> Alright everyone here it is! I was determined to post this as one complete story but then my laptop died on me and took about 20k words with it. So I had to start from scratch and since I've already made everyone wait this long I didn't want to make it any longer. So yet this will be chapter-ed but I will try to get it out ASAP. Also it won't be quite as long as the original so hopefully it'll be finished soon. 
> 
> I just want to say THANK YOU for your patience. I know it's been a long time coming and if you're still around and waiting then I love you!


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